CONFIDENCE

This is an issue I have unintentionally spent a great part of my twenties exploring. I have been in denial that even I was lacking in this area. However my choices have always reflected this lacking area in my life. Choices about guys I used to date, jobs and even the university I visited. I always made the safe choice. I chose the guys I knew I was better than, so they didn't expect much from me, I choose the jobs that didn't really challenge me and I choose the university I knew I would get into very easily. I am very competitive and fear failure, hence I have been always very good in most of my endeavours and have probably been the subject of envy but the only person who has always failed to realise how much I am capable of has always been me. I feel like i have been my own greatest enemy and have allowed lack of confidence from allowing me to make the best out of my opportunities. In my case, lack confidence has stemmed from being from a dysfunctional family and also moving to a new country at 13 and not feeling accepted in school, at home (stepdad) and my environment. Always feeling like there is something wrong with you. I am determined to fight this as far as I am concerned, lack of confidence and fear are crippling spirits. I intend to build more confidence by building my faith in God, educating myself more on confidence and self love and lastly doing things that I would normally be scared to do. I am determined to completely let go and be fully assured that absolutely nothing can ever make me less than anybody else.